Since a lot of us grew up watching rom-coms in the ’90s, 2000s, and 2010s, there’s a probability that we’ll have to unlearn certain reckless advice as getting older and beginning to date in the real world is a lot more different than the movies.

Here is a list of the worst relationship advice that rom-coms gave us over the last 2.5 decades, including the movies** that made us actually believe it.

**Don’t consider this as a piece of advice itself to not enjoy these movies! Just, take their teachings with a grain of salt.

1. One of the invalid forms of flirting is casual sexual harassment

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Bridget Jone’s Diary

Credits: Bridget Jones’s Diary and The Ugly Truth

If he grabs your buttocks or tells you that you could be more appealing if you dressed better, it’s because he’s interested! JK, both are very much disrespectful, and you don’t even need to believe that.

2. A man and a woman can’t be friends

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Castle Rock Entertainment

Credits: When Harry Met Sally…**, What If, and Playing It Cool

This is totally…not true for most of us. We aren’t attracted to every single person we meet, and a man and woman can just be friends. Maybe some do believe otherwise because of their own experiences, but that’s okay! They got their reasons! The point here is that there is no such golden rule that applies to every single person.

**When Harry Met Sally… (1989) is the one movie on this list that was released before 1995, but it’s one of the defining friends-become-lovers rom-com, so it can’t be anywhere else.

3. Don’t care how terrible either you or your partner is to others, as long as you’re good to each other. Damn the Friends and family if it’s true love.

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Alcon Entertainment

Credits: Just Go With ItJohn Tucker Must DieThe Wedding PlannerSomething BorrowedBride Wars, and 27 Dresses

If in pursuit of love you’re driven far enough to publicly slut-shame your own sibling or have an affair with your best friend’s fiancé, that’s not called love, you’re just being awful.

4. It’s okay to lie to a person if you’re trying to get them to fall in love with you.

Sierra Burgess is a Loser
Netflix/MGM

Credits: OverboardSierra Burgess Is a LoserMaid in Manhattan, and…many others

Luring a classmate to fall in love with you using a fake online identity and telling a person with amnesia and making them believe that THEY ARE MARRIED TO YOU are punishable under the law for a reason.

5. In the pursuit of love, even stalking is not wrong!

20th Century Fox

Credits: There’s Something About MaryAmélie, and This Means War

Paying a private detective to tail your crush or fixing a mic in a woman’s residence to spy on her for the purpose of finding out what her likes and dislikes are does not make anyone a devoted lover, it makes them a total creep!

6. Always convey your feelings, even without considering the situation of others.

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StudioCanal

Credits: Love ActuallyMy Best Friend’s Wedding, and Made of Honor

Proposing your best friend a night before their wedding is way too selfish, and so is to tell your best friend’s life partner that you have feelings for them, via posters, pretending to be Christmas carolers.

7. Changing how you look will always fix all your problems.

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Vast Entertainment

Credits: CluelessMy Big Fat Greek Wedding, and The DUFF

Can a total makeover pump up somebody’s confidence a bit? Maybe it could! However, it could also be that putting on makeup, removing the glasses, and wearing fancy clothes won’t fix all of the problems.

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