evangeline lily

Nicole Evangeline Lilly is a Canadian actor and a well known author. She acquired a popularity for her first leading role as Kate Austen in the ABC series Lost, which bought her a nomination for the Golden Globe Award for Best Actress in a Drama Series and won her a Screen Actors Guild Award.

Evangeline in Agony

 evangeline lilly
That smile does not reach the actresses eyes

Ant-Man and the Wasp’s Evangeline Lilly took to Instagram to open up about her rugged year. The Marvel actress was determined to inform her fans about the hardships she faced over the past year. All of her words are so heart wrenching and you can’t help but empathize with The Wasp actress while she’s dealing with all of the inner turbulence. She explained the entire scene in her own words.

The actress expressing herself

“Yesterday, as many of you said, “brunette.” Well, here she is, about a year ago today. I had such a bumpy last year, but I didn’t want to propagate all of it with you because I didn’t want to be a dark patch in your world. All I’ve ever wanted to do was put glee in the world. To add light and warmth, I didn’t want you to be having a perfectly good day and then have my post make you depressed. But I wrestle deeply with feeling that all I ever am is what I think everyone else wants and needs me to be. I often feel lonely and ignored.”

 

View this post on Instagram

#fbf #flashbackfriday Yesterday many of you said “brunette”. Well, here she is, about a year ago today. I had such a rough year last year but I didn’t want to share all of it with you because i didn’t want to be a dark cloud in your world. All I’ve ever wanted to do was put joy in the world. To add sunshine. I didn’t want you to be having a perfectly good day and then have my post make you sad. But I struggle deeply with feeling that all I ever am is what I feel everyone else wants and needs me to be. I often feel alone and unseen. . I have always known I was strong. Strong enough, I believed, to hold all my pain and everyone else’s also. So I kept it all inside, kept it to myself, and made space in there to hold your pain, too. Publicly, I hid and made light of my deepest traumas and laughed in the face of my most profound pain. . Until, last year, I broke. Suddenly I was forced to face my weakness and my limitations, my trauma and fears. I was left with no choice but to accept that I am limited or…carry on down a road of perfectionist denial that would inevitably kill me. . I am coming out of that deep place, slowly. As I start to breathe the fresh air, as I start to find my new, limited footing, I feel disconnected from you. I feel it’s pointless to share the light when you don’t know my darkness. I feel lost and apathetic about this space we share. . But I ask myself…would you have wanted to come along in my darkness had I shared it? . 📷 taken by my four-year-old son #whenbabieshavecameras . #lightanddarkness

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Her heartfelt message

Ant man and the wasp
the popular actress in turmoil

“I have always known I was powerful. Strong enough, I believed, to hold all my agony and everyone else’s also. So I kept it all packed inside, kept it to myself, and made space in there to hold your sufferings, too. Publicly, I hid and made light of my deepest traumas and smiled in the face of my most profound torment. Until last year, I collapsed. Suddenly I was forced to face my weakness and my restraints, my trauma, and phobias. I was left with no choice but to accept that I am limited or go on down a road of perfectionist denial that would, in turn, kill me.”

New beginning in her life

 evangeline lilly
There’s always room for improvement and betterment
“I am coming out of that devious place, slowly and steadily. As I start to take in the fresh air, as I start to find my new, limited footing, I feel detached from you. I feel it’s pointless to share the light when you don’t know my dark. I feel lost and disappointed about this space we share. But I question myself, would you have wanted to come along in my darkness had I shared it?”

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